I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
