GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
