This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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