if i died would you start the facebook group?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
