i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
