gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
