SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
