he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
