FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
