I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
