and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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