i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Congratulations! We have a period
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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