There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
