I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
