Do you still have your period?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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