Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
