M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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