goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
