She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
