i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Text me some of your sweat
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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