Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can I color on your dick again?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
