if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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