All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Alive.
So much puke
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
