i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
