if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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