Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
