i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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