North Korea, Best Korea!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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