so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
