But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
