You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
