i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
