I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
