I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
