Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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