I think my vagina is haunted
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
