My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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