would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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