Can Purell be used as lube?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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