I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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