does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
