Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
