We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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