You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
