I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
