I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
