I wish my penis had an off switch
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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