And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
