just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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