i jhust puked up my retainher.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
