Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm really busy with my period
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