Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
