ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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