3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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