Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well you can't waste a boner
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
