I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
