Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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