need another drink. this is the easiest way
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
