"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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