garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Drunk is a universal language darling
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